2010

eventually im gonna "memindah kn diri" to a new house...

house at my granpa's "rumah pusaka"

still in kl..

but i dun mind actually, i have to make the sacrifices... towards the family...

if we continue staying here...

with the rent evey month worth rm1500, with my dad's pencen rm2200,

plus need to pay our "UNFINISH" house that suppose to finish it about 6 years ago.. rm500, insurance... then, rm200 per month... what do u want to eat?

sometimes... i just want......... to sell myself, to help my mum... but i know..... that's not a gud solution for everything....

i want to help my mum.....

a lot of sacrifices have been made....

which no one knows...

well, in this house at Melawati, a lot of memories...

my dad passed away at this house...

i will never forget thru my whole life....

the day my dad passed away, he sat on a chair.... looking outside at the balcony...

n im sitting at the back of his seat.... together with my mum....

i will nvr forget his words to me....

"adik, lepas ni... kena lah berdoa utk abah...."

my heart was like almost stop.. when said that.. the feeling of losing is there..... i just keep quite to myself..

"ishh.. abah ni....doa utk ape?" my mum said to him..

"doa utk abah sihat lah..."

i could only said emm...

i couldn't bare it... i ran downstairs.... sitting at the porch by myself.. cryingg.. so hard..

in my heart saying..... pls dun take my dad away....

n went to cut my hair.....

next thing i know... he's gone....

n our life change.... my life change.... as a gurl without a dad. huhu.

thats all the beginning...

whats come next is very unexpected to me..

a lot of stuff come up thru my mind...

what if this..

what if that...

what if...

i've been sleeping the almost the whole day... so that, i don't want wake up n make my brain thinking.. why this is happening to me?

just awake for my prayers.. den sleep again..

sometimes i sleep on the sejadah without even realize.. until my mum wakes me up...

until my head spinning gasing.. huhu...

=)

peace.

p.s: SUJU's new single... cool.. but not as hot like sorry sorry. =)